July 7th 2007

Anna’s party was delightful!!! She wanted to share her love of bugs and games so we hosted the “Bug Olympics”. The bug decorations and bug cake were a little creepy, but we enjoyed our celebrations. Some guests couldn’t come, so the adults became (mostly) willing participants!!

We had a Bee race...

...an Ant crawl..

..and the bug toss!!
We even had a medal ceremony!!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

We enjoyed our day!! Did you???

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

We love, because He first loved us.

1 John 4:19

For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.

2 Corinthians 5:14-15

I am back!!

It feels good to be back. I have been “enjoying the story”; I just haven’t had time to share it with you all!!

I will pick up the story, with some occasional flashbacks. Enjoy!!

End of year celebrations!

We had fun celebrating the end of the school year. I always like the relaxing pace of June, Biola is over, school is winding down, and summer school (for me) has not yet begun. I really enjoy my time off!!!

Dillon really enjoyed his year with Ms Martha. We had a fun little celebration, went to the park, and took "last time" photographs. What a sweet woman Ms Martha is!!!

Anna's kindergarten opted out of the traditional graduation ceremony. (I was relieved to not have to focus on the fact that most of her classmates were going on to 1st grade and we weren't!!) Instead, they organized a precious celebration, complete with singing! The highlight was hearing 100 children singing "Life is a Highway" with joyous voices and choreographed moves!!! What fun!!! We loved Anna's teachers and were so thankful for the year she had with them!!! We made some sweet friendships that year. Thank you Lord!!!


We loved Anna's teachers and were so thankful for the year she had with them!!! We made some sweet friendships that year. Thank you Lord!!!

Sweet Dreams

#1 It is fun to be a new Aunt!!!

I wanted to save the best news for last, so this announcement is a bit delayed, but....

Announcing little "JP"!!!

Born May 2, 2007 at 6:30 IST. He was a healthy 9lbs 11oz. Yippee!!

The Baileys are truly enjoying their new life together!! A picture worth 1000 words, so here are thousands of words!!!


They chose a special and meaningful name for their son. How did you choose your children's names?

Anna means "gracious" and Lauryn means "crowned". Our prayer for Anna is that her gracious spirit would be a light that gives glory to God, and that in parenting her we might also grow in understanding God's grace and how to mirror that to others.

Dillon means faithful, and James is a family name. Our prayer is that Dillon would be a faithful Christ-follower, and that in parenting him we would be reminded of God's faithfulness.

What is your prayer for your children??

#2 I am fantastically in love with my husband!!!

I really did have to learn this truth this spring. Several of my friends posted entries on their blogs about their wonderful husbands, and when I read them, I felt twinges... sometimes more... of jealousy!!! I have been struggling with such selfish thoughts, I was only looking for what I wanted and not for what I had. God has taught me, no, is teaching me, to view everything, and mostly my amazingly faithful husband, with self-less eyes. These eyes see beauty. Thank you, my faithful Father!!!

My husband....

• will always love me no matter how crazy I get.
• loves me in spite of my faults and anxious fears.
• is faithful, a picture of faithfulness, at work, at church, in our family, and to friends.
• loves our children.
• is dedicated to his and our family's spiritual growth.
• gives fun and impractical gifts that I would never choose to pay for.
• gives up hobbies like golf and sports so he can spend time with his family.
• loves to laugh.
• is a bit quirky, some of his favorite movies are: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Private Eyes, really anything with Tim Conway and Don Knotts, SG1, Notting Hill, and You've Got Mail.... (oops! Maybe I should not have revealed that last secret.) He also is part of the "Woot.com" club!!! =) =)
  

Thanks God, for my precious gift!!!

#3 Different isn't bad, it is just... different!

"We think she would do better in... kindergarten part 2."

This was the advice of Anna's caring and very involved teachers!!! I was surprised, but then, not so surprised. Anna's personality, combined with the ever-increasing expectations placed on these young children... yeah, that makes sense. I felt ok about the decision, then started thinking more about everything:

• Now they would be only a year apart in school.
• Anna, and I, had made such good friends with her classmates and parents this year.
• I was anticipating only one year of kindergarten!!!
• She would be older than some of her classmates.
• What if she was bored in kinder part 2?? The decision was a behavioral one, not academic.

So many more thoughts, so many opinions and experiences to hear about.
What a weighty decision to make!!!

But, finally, after much prayer and many doubts and concerns, we decided yes, Anna will do kindergarten part two!!

It felt so different, so not what we expected. Yet, fast forward to now, 1 week into school, and we know we made the best decision. Yippee!!!

• We love the team of teachers she has.
• Many of her classmates are older, like her, so this class is a good fit for her. I think she still is one of the shortest girls in her class!!
  
• Her first comment on comparing Dillon's pre-school wither her first week was, "Dillon gets to play with toys and we have to sit and listen to the teacher all the time!" Yikes, what would 1st have been like for her??
• She has taken a nap twice in the last week alone!!! She hasn't napped like that in almost a year!!

Anna loves playing and being creative and spontaneous. I am cherishing the extra time at home with her!!! I have a peace that only God can give, and I am thankful for that !!!

#4 Even the experts agree... my parents did their job well!!

I read Graced-Based Parenting earlier this year. I loved reading it, though it is very daunting, contemplating the responsibility we have as parents. I am so thankful that God's grace is sufficient for me, and His power is made perfect in my weakness!!! Amazing!!

Tim Kimmel's basic premise is that a child has three diving inner needs of security, significance, and strength. The way to meet these needs is through love, purpose and hope. He says "if we've done our job adequately, our children should leave our homes with a love that is secure, a purpose that is significant, and a hope that is strong."

My parents did this!!! Sure, I can point to good times and bad, but overall. I left with these three gifts. I want to share with you a quote that brought tears to my eyes.

"Children need to have a hope in His love that enables them to trust in His character while walking down these painful corridors of their lives. For the child facing these crises, the grace that has surrounded him, the love he's been shown, and the character of the parents who gave him that grace and love provide a natural springboard for him to rest in God's final answer to his pleas. It helps him hope when everyone else would give up."

I want to thank my parents for giving me this hope. Mom and Dad, thank you so much!!! This characterizes what you taught me, what you still teach me!! I love you!!!

Here are a few more favorite quotes. Now go read this book!!!

"...wise parents teach their children ow to love, how to be forthright, how to be transparent with close friends, how to confront, and how to forgive."


"Grace provides equilibrium for a family. Where too many parents are concerned with how others view their children, grace-based parents are more excited with how God views their children."


"...they encourage their children to find the unique individual that God designed them to be through an intimate and authentic relationship with Christ."


"Grace understands that the only real solution for our children's sin is the work of Christ on their behalf."


"Your children's propensity toward sin shouldn't surprise you; it shouldn't threaten you, and it shouldn't even really bother you. ... By acknowledging your children's bent toward sin from the outset, you can encourage your children to struggle with their sin out in the open where you can talk about it and direct them to the power of Christ."

"He chose you to assist Him in a miracle. He gave you children and then said, 'Now go, and give these precious lives meaning.' ... You wonder, How am I to raise up children to love and serve God?...you simply need to treat your children the way God treats you.


He does it in His grace."

Hello, Hello, Helo!!!

I have been wanting to blog for so long!!! Yikes!!! To blog, I have to be in the mood, not overwhelmed with home-making duties, and not too desperate for sleep!!! It also helps if one or more members of my family are asleep. Today, this happened, and I am here!!! Yippee!!!

I know that blogs are typically current, up-to-date journals, but... this one is different. We are learning to enjoy the story, right??? =)

So, back in May, I told you all I had been learning a few things. It is really important to me to finish something I start, even if is is super late.... so....

Listen up for the last "4" things I have learned!!!

And..... stay tuned for "End of Year Celebrations" , "Summer Fun", and "First days"!!!

#5 Dillon and Anna can learn to swim!!

I finally signed them up for swim lessons!!! They both love the water but were reluctant to try floating or swimming. After four weeks, Anna was doing great!!! It seemed like it would never happen, but it did, she took those first tentative strokes without anyone holding her!!! Yay!!!

The picture is not great... but you get the idea!!


Dillon is still very tentative. He will now try occasionally, to swim to me, but it basically is like he is jumping through the water to me.
This was Anna's favorite part... the open swim time on the last day!! Can you tell??


One down, one to go!!!

#6 It is good to take a break!!!

The end of April...wow, how time flies!!! My wonderful husband hung out with the children all weekend so I could travel with two friends to Avila Beach!! What a great time we had, and so relaxing!!! Shopping, dining at fine restaurants... it is so much cheaper to only pay for 1/2 a meal, instead of 4!!! Driving up the coast is so relaxing, and driving up the coast with girlfriends is even better!!!

We stayed up so late chatting... and they were so kind to listen to some of my questions about myself... (see #10) thank God for friends!!!

I will have to get pictures and post later.... it was a beautiful weekend with beautiful friends!!! When live seems so busy and overwhelming, I can still remember the peace I felt that weekend, and be encouraged!!!

So, grab a friend and get away for a weekend!!! It is good to treat yourself!!! =)

#7 We have all been given a "Get out of Jail Free" card.

I learned some incredible truths from my experience at our Women's Retreat back in March. (Yes, I know that was a long time ago. )

I finally started to grasp one essential truth from a woman's honest struggle to live without an understanding of God's free gift of salvation. Here is her story, a God-appointed conversation with E* and the other ladies who "happened" to set down together at...

The Breakfast Table

Various conversations were going on around the table, but each one quieted as the focus was drawn to E*. She was sharing about her fears at work, and her anxiety about her recent return to work. She kept repeating, "if I have enough faith, I know I will be ok."

We all were drawn in by her words, by this burden she was sharing. As the conversation continued, it was evident that she felt she needed to be good enough to "cover" the sin in her life, that she was discouraged by her lack of a strong faith, and that if she could only be good enough her life would be good. She shared that she feels what the author of the "Footprints" poem felt... that God was not with her in the difficult times, that she was walking that path alone.

Tears sprang to my eyes as I realized the bondage E* has been living in, anxiety that her good works would not cover all her sins, that the struggles in her life were caused by her sin. This woman was in such bondage, she had such a wrong, evil view of God!!!

I thought, "No, that is not who God is!! We have to tell her the truth!!" Difficult things are not always the result of personal sin, we can never be good enough to earn salvation, and it is by God's free gift of faith, not our own works, that we are saved!!!

Thankfully, each woman at the table was able to share God's truth with her, and E* began to realize the free gift God offers. I saw a woman, freed from her heavy burden, ready to learn to live life in the freedom God offers.

Our conversation continued to resonate in my soul, and I started to understand how her state of bondage was not too different from my own.

How often do I live feeling like I need to meet some list of expectations to be a "good Christian"? What unnecessary burdens do I carry? What works do I feel I must accomplish to earn God's delight??? It is as if I am living in a prison cell, and God has unlocked it and set me free. Yet, instead of running out, living a life free, free to simply be motivated by a desire to do what will bring Him the most glory, I stay in the cell. Some days I even decorate it and try to make it look pretty. Other days I complain about its tight constraints, the lack of space, or variety.

I fail to realize, understand, or acknowledge that the door is wide open. God has set me free!!! Yes, the outside world may be more difficult to negotiate, it may even be dangerous and take a lot more work. Yet it is beautiful, wonderful, and free.

So what do I want? A life of slavery, of trying to meet my own expectations of righteousness and holding others to that same list??

Or...

A life of freedom, lived in the Spirit, by the Spirit?

I am pretty sure I didn't read "having a clean house" as a fruit of the Spirit... nor is it anywhere in the Ten Commandments or taught by Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount. Yet what do I spend a good chunk of time obsessing about???

I am going to choose freedom. I am going to use my "Get Out of Jail Free" card. What about you??? What is your prison?? Do you know the door is open???

It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:1, 16, 22-23

For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast Ephesians 2:8-9

#8 Parties work better...

...when planned in advance. However, they can still go on with the help of a few friends!!!

***disclaimer***
I realize it is time to post for Anna's birthday, but I have to do Dillon's first!!! Yikes!!! (I have been given the gift of time, and I am so hoping to spend lots of time blogging.... in a couple of days...)

We had a great time at Dillon's fun Diego birthday!!! The back room was transformed into an Amazon jungle, Anna's room was the Arctic (with a little imagination) and Dillon's room was the ocean.


The children enjoyed dining on jungle skewers and fruits and veggies, then went on an "Animal Rescue Adventure" to search out and find all the animals hiding around the house. They even had seeing scopes and field journals!!!

They also participated in coconut bowling!!

Of course, the party could not be complete without the "rescue pack" cake!!!!

My precious boy is four!!! Amazing!!!

p.s. to #10

Reflecting on what I wrote, what I learned was this: Just because I didn't do as well as my sister, doesn't mean that I did something wrong. I was, and still so often do... trying to strive after the wrong model of success. Some may say "be the best Brenda you can be". Yes, there is some truth to this, but it still falls short, it is incomplete. Really, the question is, "Did I bring God glory? Was the end result of that action, that choice, glory given to God, or not?" That is really the crucial mark of success. Nothing else. Nothing else.

Wow, that is so often difficult to remember, or even to measure. Yet, that is the question we must ask ourselves, every day, every moment.

#9: Baby Powder is Useful at the Beach....

...but not in the hands of a curious 5 year old!!! Yikes!!!

Here is a funny post to balance #10.

I recently have discovered the benefits of baby powder at the beach. Did you know that if you sprinkle some on wet sandy skin, the sand smooths right off without that scratchy uncomfortable feeling!! Try it!!! But, do not leave it unattended outside your child's bedroom. If you do, make sure her ceiling fan is not spinning at high speed..... because...

Baby Powder is a mess to clean up!!!

We checked in on Anna around 10pm, just before going to bed. Her room smelled like baby powder. Actually, come to think of it, the hallway also smelled of powder. Wait, her entire floor is covered with a light film of power...WHAT DID SHE DO????? I investigated further and found a small pile of power in the corner of her room, my feather duster covered in powder, and then realized that her ceiling fan had been on high... and over 2 hours had passed since I said "Sweet Dreams"!!! Yikes!!! Her story, the next day??? "Well, I wanted to play with the powder, so I made a pile. Then, I wanted to clean it up, but it kept falling over, and....".

After dragging her floor rug into the hallway and removing as much of the powder as I could, I went to bed. The next day, we had the "tell mommy when something like this happens" lecture, that even if she knew she did something wrong, it is worse to not tell mommy. Also we had the lecture about the dangers of baby powder, etc. THREE hours later, her room was clean, organized, and we even got rid of a bit of clutter in the process. A good ending to a frustrating... yet funny... story. I hope you enjoyed this one!!! =)

#10: It is Good to be Me!!

I said I would share about the life of a competitive twin. Yes, we were competitive, but only in the sense that I was always wanting to be as good as my sister. It wasn't something that my parents caused or overlooked, I remember many times my mom encouraging me that I was different than Rebecca, was doing fine, etc. This was all something I placed on myself, and, I think, not always consciously. Becca would always read faster, and thus read more books than me. She would always score slightly higher on any test, get better grades, etc. Now, lest you feel sorry for me... don't!!! Me thinking I didn't do as good as Becca meant I received a 92% to her 98%.... I am simply talking about the difference between an "A" and and "A+"!!! Yikes!!!

It is amazing how distance and time places a whole new perspective on this. I did well in school, read many interesting books, had a great and dynamic social life, and a committed relationship, all through high school and college!!! Yet it wasn't until a few weeks ago that I really put all this to rest. Several events helped me gain perspective. I read this line in a book that basically said "don't define your life by your failures." I gasped when I read this, that was me!!! That is what I do!!! I never thought that there was another way of defining your life!!! Yikes!!!

The really crucial point came in a conversation with two close friends in a lovely time-share in Avila Beach. (More about this in another post.... details to come...) The statement that sealed the deal??? "Brenda, you are not your sister, you are you." The light finally came on. All this time I had thought I didn't succeed because I didn't reach my sister's standard. I guess I unconsciously thought that since we were twins, I should be able to do everything she could do, and when I didn't, it was because of some short-coming on my part. I was amazed by the sense of.... I don't know.... relief maybe. Relief that I hadn't screwed up my whole life, relief that I had been a good Brenda... that I didn't need to try to be a Rebecca.

I am being a bit dramatic..I know, no surprise there!! Logically, I know I have a good life, I have done good things, I have gotten good grades. It just never felt like enough. I also know that this drive for perfection is deceptive, based on the premise that I, a sinful human being, could somehow be perfect. No, I never can, I need my Savior to even want to be good. I need His Spirit alive in me, so that I can evidence His fruit. I feel like I lived life looking through a lens that was not quite focused, and now, that focus is clearer. I know it will never be clear this side of Heaven, but I am thankful for the freedom and healing that this better-focused lens has brought, and will continue to bring.

So, as a teacher, I ask you. Who is your twin?? What is the standard that you compare yourself to? It is so easy to forget the words of Paul "All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God".

I am still working through all this...thanks for listening!!

Did you give up on me??

Ok, I said I would return, so here I am!! Here are the ten things, in no particular order (unless otherwise specified...)=)

Don't give up on me yet!!!

I hope to have some fun posts, coming soon!!! Now that Biola is over, I have a bit more time to work with. Who knows? Hopefully you will soon be reading the yet-to-be-written blog that is floating around in my brain. It is called "ten things I have learned while I've been gone". The list will include baby powder, timing, the life of a competitive twin and special friends who helped save the day!!!

Stay tuned.....

=) =)

Enjoy our beautiful weekend at the Aquarium!!

Driving with Dillon

"Mom, I wish you were three!"
"You wish I was three?"
"Yes". He nods excitedly.
"What would we do if I was three?"
"We could go to Auntie Pat's together... you and me!"

=) =)

I love the things he shares as we are driving along!! We spent the rest of the car ride home, talking about what we would do at Auntie Pat's (play and play and play and read stories), and if everybody was a kid, who would cook and do the laundry and go to work. What fun!!!

Auntie Pat cares for Dillon while I teach at Biola. She is definitely an answer to prayer, Dillon loves her and she loves caring for him. Thanks God!!! He often is sad when I come to pick him up, he wants to stay and play!!!



One more thing...


Dillon's language.
"The train is horn-i:g"
"I am the food-er" (this was said when he was feeding our cat.)

So cute, I love it!!! =) =)

A new member of our family!!

We once again have entered the pet world!! This time we adopted a 1.5 year old cat. She is a wonderful cat with a sweet personality. She loves Todd and gets excited when he comes home. She likes us too, but I am always busy and A & D get a little too much for her at times. I was slow to warm up to the idea, but am now thankful. It really is amazing how something as common as a cat can give us a glimpse of God's creativity and majesty in His creation!!! It seems like it would be so much fun to be a cat!! She sleeps most of the day, goofs around at night for a few hours, and then sleeps. What a life!! And now, after two weekends of hard work (aren't you impressed??), she has a fun new scratching post to escape to and play on!! Can I be a cat for a few weeks??? =) =)

Up and Down

The weather lately has been an outward display of what I have been experiencing in my soul. One day it is sunny and warm, the next day is cloudy and raining. January is always a tough month for our family. The bright hope of a New Year is always overshadowed by the anniversary of my brother's death. That in itself is such a mixed combination of emotions. I smile as I recall his love of family and friends, his earnest desire to know the truth, his generosity with time and money. Then I am awash with the grief of missing a brother, of missing the life that was supposed to be here, now. Grieving brings loneliness, a feeling of isolation. What am I going to say to the dreaded question "How are you doing?". How do I explain feelings I barely can predict or begin to understand.? If I answer "not that great", it always seem that an explanation is expected.

Beyond this constant ache, someone is always sick. This requires up to 6 different medications and inhalers a day, definitely a hard sell on a good day and especially hard when the patient is not feeling well.

So, life is a bit of a challenge, for this girl who loves routine and predictability. Flexibility is a quality I long to have. So my heart's cry is perseverance. I am in the middle of our study of Joshua, and learning that while the battle may be won, there is still a war to be fought. I must continue to battle, and know that God is fighting this battle, He promises His presence, and He keeps His promises. As this story is told and re-told in the book of Joshua, I am slowly beginning to understand what that really means.

Yet January does bring the hope of a New Year. I love that. I have made a list of traditional Resolutions, which I have not kept, but I am ok with that. I like having a target to aim for.

February has included the fun of Valentine's day, I love celebrating loving my family!! We mailed off our Valentines a little late this year, but we did it!!! I celebrate all victories!!!

The other bright spots that shine against this backdrop of sorrow are my precious children and their funny antics.
-Just today Anna was relishing that she got the last tortilla left. "I got the last one!" was her joyful cry!! Todd asked for a small piece and she generously says "sure", tearing off a pea-sized piece, just as directed!!!
-Dillon insists on calling a famous clothing store "Old Lady".
-He also calls his bedroom "dea-droom"... which sounds like "dead-room"!! =)

And, the best for last... Anna is reading!!! This process is requiring quite a bit of patience, which God continually provides, yet what a joy!! Tonight she read some words from the Bible!!! I love it!!!

Time permits me of sharing all the other funny stories and times of struggle. With Dillon and Anna being sick, Biola starting up again, and the increased time required for working with Anna on her reading, sight words, and homework, I made the difficult choice to give up blogging for a while. I am hoping now, with their recovery in sight, I will be able to begin again!!! Who knows!!! It is a good thing that I am learning to be flexible!!!

I will end tonight with a few fun pictures, enjoy!!!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Thanks for the Valentine's gift Grammy and Poppy!!

Happy Birthday to our first president!!