Up and Down

The weather lately has been an outward display of what I have been experiencing in my soul. One day it is sunny and warm, the next day is cloudy and raining. January is always a tough month for our family. The bright hope of a New Year is always overshadowed by the anniversary of my brother's death. That in itself is such a mixed combination of emotions. I smile as I recall his love of family and friends, his earnest desire to know the truth, his generosity with time and money. Then I am awash with the grief of missing a brother, of missing the life that was supposed to be here, now. Grieving brings loneliness, a feeling of isolation. What am I going to say to the dreaded question "How are you doing?". How do I explain feelings I barely can predict or begin to understand.? If I answer "not that great", it always seem that an explanation is expected.

Beyond this constant ache, someone is always sick. This requires up to 6 different medications and inhalers a day, definitely a hard sell on a good day and especially hard when the patient is not feeling well.

So, life is a bit of a challenge, for this girl who loves routine and predictability. Flexibility is a quality I long to have. So my heart's cry is perseverance. I am in the middle of our study of Joshua, and learning that while the battle may be won, there is still a war to be fought. I must continue to battle, and know that God is fighting this battle, He promises His presence, and He keeps His promises. As this story is told and re-told in the book of Joshua, I am slowly beginning to understand what that really means.

Yet January does bring the hope of a New Year. I love that. I have made a list of traditional Resolutions, which I have not kept, but I am ok with that. I like having a target to aim for.

February has included the fun of Valentine's day, I love celebrating loving my family!! We mailed off our Valentines a little late this year, but we did it!!! I celebrate all victories!!!

The other bright spots that shine against this backdrop of sorrow are my precious children and their funny antics.
-Just today Anna was relishing that she got the last tortilla left. "I got the last one!" was her joyful cry!! Todd asked for a small piece and she generously says "sure", tearing off a pea-sized piece, just as directed!!!
-Dillon insists on calling a famous clothing store "Old Lady".
-He also calls his bedroom "dea-droom"... which sounds like "dead-room"!! =)

And, the best for last... Anna is reading!!! This process is requiring quite a bit of patience, which God continually provides, yet what a joy!! Tonight she read some words from the Bible!!! I love it!!!

Time permits me of sharing all the other funny stories and times of struggle. With Dillon and Anna being sick, Biola starting up again, and the increased time required for working with Anna on her reading, sight words, and homework, I made the difficult choice to give up blogging for a while. I am hoping now, with their recovery in sight, I will be able to begin again!!! Who knows!!! It is a good thing that I am learning to be flexible!!!

I will end tonight with a few fun pictures, enjoy!!!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Thanks for the Valentine's gift Grammy and Poppy!!

Happy Birthday to our first president!!