Reflecting on what I wrote, what I learned was this: Just because I didn't do as well as my sister, doesn't mean that I did something wrong. I was, and still so often do... trying to strive after the wrong model of success. Some may say "be the best Brenda you can be". Yes, there is some truth to this, but it still falls short, it is incomplete. Really, the question is, "Did I bring God glory? Was the end result of that action, that choice, glory given to God, or not?" That is really the crucial mark of success. Nothing else. Nothing else.
Wow, that is so often difficult to remember, or even to measure. Yet, that is the question we must ask ourselves, every day, every moment.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
#9: Baby Powder is Useful at the Beach....
...but not in the hands of a curious 5 year old!!! Yikes!!!
Here is a funny post to balance #10.
I recently have discovered the benefits of baby powder at the beach. Did you know that if you sprinkle some on wet sandy skin, the sand smooths right off without that scratchy uncomfortable feeling!! Try it!!! But, do not leave it unattended outside your child's bedroom. If you do, make sure her ceiling fan is not spinning at high speed..... because...
Baby Powder is a mess to clean up!!!
We checked in on Anna around 10pm, just before going to bed. Her room smelled like baby powder. Actually, come to think of it, the hallway also smelled of powder. Wait, her entire floor is covered with a light film of power...WHAT DID SHE DO????? I investigated further and found a small pile of power in the corner of her room, my feather duster covered in powder, and then realized that her ceiling fan had been on high... and over 2 hours had passed since I said "Sweet Dreams"!!! Yikes!!! Her story, the next day??? "Well, I wanted to play with the powder, so I made a pile. Then, I wanted to clean it up, but it kept falling over, and....".
After dragging her floor rug into the hallway and removing as much of the powder as I could, I went to bed. The next day, we had the "tell mommy when something like this happens" lecture, that even if she knew she did something wrong, it is worse to not tell mommy. Also we had the lecture about the dangers of baby powder, etc. THREE hours later, her room was clean, organized, and we even got rid of a bit of clutter in the process. A good ending to a frustrating... yet funny... story. I hope you enjoyed this one!!! =)
Here is a funny post to balance #10.
I recently have discovered the benefits of baby powder at the beach. Did you know that if you sprinkle some on wet sandy skin, the sand smooths right off without that scratchy uncomfortable feeling!! Try it!!! But, do not leave it unattended outside your child's bedroom. If you do, make sure her ceiling fan is not spinning at high speed..... because...
Baby Powder is a mess to clean up!!!
We checked in on Anna around 10pm, just before going to bed. Her room smelled like baby powder. Actually, come to think of it, the hallway also smelled of powder. Wait, her entire floor is covered with a light film of power...WHAT DID SHE DO????? I investigated further and found a small pile of power in the corner of her room, my feather duster covered in powder, and then realized that her ceiling fan had been on high... and over 2 hours had passed since I said "Sweet Dreams"!!! Yikes!!! Her story, the next day??? "Well, I wanted to play with the powder, so I made a pile. Then, I wanted to clean it up, but it kept falling over, and....".
After dragging her floor rug into the hallway and removing as much of the powder as I could, I went to bed. The next day, we had the "tell mommy when something like this happens" lecture, that even if she knew she did something wrong, it is worse to not tell mommy. Also we had the lecture about the dangers of baby powder, etc. THREE hours later, her room was clean, organized, and we even got rid of a bit of clutter in the process. A good ending to a frustrating... yet funny... story. I hope you enjoyed this one!!! =)
#10: It is Good to be Me!!
I said I would share about the life of a competitive twin. Yes, we were competitive, but only in the sense that I was always wanting to be as good as my sister. It wasn't something that my parents caused or overlooked, I remember many times my mom encouraging me that I was different than Rebecca, was doing fine, etc. This was all something I placed on myself, and, I think, not always consciously. Becca would always read faster, and thus read more books than me. She would always score slightly higher on any test, get better grades, etc. Now, lest you feel sorry for me... don't!!! Me thinking I didn't do as good as Becca meant I received a 92% to her 98%.... I am simply talking about the difference between an "A" and and "A+"!!! Yikes!!!
It is amazing how distance and time places a whole new perspective on this. I did well in school, read many interesting books, had a great and dynamic social life, and a committed relationship, all through high school and college!!! Yet it wasn't until a few weeks ago that I really put all this to rest. Several events helped me gain perspective. I read this line in a book that basically said "don't define your life by your failures." I gasped when I read this, that was me!!! That is what I do!!! I never thought that there was another way of defining your life!!! Yikes!!!
The really crucial point came in a conversation with two close friends in a lovely time-share in Avila Beach. (More about this in another post.... details to come...) The statement that sealed the deal??? "Brenda, you are not your sister, you are you." The light finally came on. All this time I had thought I didn't succeed because I didn't reach my sister's standard. I guess I unconsciously thought that since we were twins, I should be able to do everything she could do, and when I didn't, it was because of some short-coming on my part. I was amazed by the sense of.... I don't know.... relief maybe. Relief that I hadn't screwed up my whole life, relief that I had been a good Brenda... that I didn't need to try to be a Rebecca.
I am being a bit dramatic..I know, no surprise there!! Logically, I know I have a good life, I have done good things, I have gotten good grades. It just never felt like enough. I also know that this drive for perfection is deceptive, based on the premise that I, a sinful human being, could somehow be perfect. No, I never can, I need my Savior to even want to be good. I need His Spirit alive in me, so that I can evidence His fruit. I feel like I lived life looking through a lens that was not quite focused, and now, that focus is clearer. I know it will never be clear this side of Heaven, but I am thankful for the freedom and healing that this better-focused lens has brought, and will continue to bring.
So, as a teacher, I ask you. Who is your twin?? What is the standard that you compare yourself to? It is so easy to forget the words of Paul "All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God".
I am still working through all this...thanks for listening!!
It is amazing how distance and time places a whole new perspective on this. I did well in school, read many interesting books, had a great and dynamic social life, and a committed relationship, all through high school and college!!! Yet it wasn't until a few weeks ago that I really put all this to rest. Several events helped me gain perspective. I read this line in a book that basically said "don't define your life by your failures." I gasped when I read this, that was me!!! That is what I do!!! I never thought that there was another way of defining your life!!! Yikes!!!
The really crucial point came in a conversation with two close friends in a lovely time-share in Avila Beach. (More about this in another post.... details to come...) The statement that sealed the deal??? "Brenda, you are not your sister, you are you." The light finally came on. All this time I had thought I didn't succeed because I didn't reach my sister's standard. I guess I unconsciously thought that since we were twins, I should be able to do everything she could do, and when I didn't, it was because of some short-coming on my part. I was amazed by the sense of.... I don't know.... relief maybe. Relief that I hadn't screwed up my whole life, relief that I had been a good Brenda... that I didn't need to try to be a Rebecca.
I am being a bit dramatic..I know, no surprise there!! Logically, I know I have a good life, I have done good things, I have gotten good grades. It just never felt like enough. I also know that this drive for perfection is deceptive, based on the premise that I, a sinful human being, could somehow be perfect. No, I never can, I need my Savior to even want to be good. I need His Spirit alive in me, so that I can evidence His fruit. I feel like I lived life looking through a lens that was not quite focused, and now, that focus is clearer. I know it will never be clear this side of Heaven, but I am thankful for the freedom and healing that this better-focused lens has brought, and will continue to bring.
So, as a teacher, I ask you. Who is your twin?? What is the standard that you compare yourself to? It is so easy to forget the words of Paul "All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God".
I am still working through all this...thanks for listening!!
Did you give up on me??
Ok, I said I would return, so here I am!! Here are the ten things, in no particular order (unless otherwise specified...)=)
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Don't give up on me yet!!!
I hope to have some fun posts, coming soon!!! Now that Biola is over, I have a bit more time to work with. Who knows? Hopefully you will soon be reading the yet-to-be-written blog that is floating around in my brain. It is called "ten things I have learned while I've been gone". The list will include baby powder, timing, the life of a competitive twin and special friends who helped save the day!!!
Stay tuned.....
=) =)
Stay tuned.....
=) =)
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Driving with Dillon
"Mom, I wish you were three!"
"You wish I was three?"
"Yes". He nods excitedly.
"What would we do if I was three?"
"We could go to Auntie Pat's together... you and me!"
=) =)
I love the things he shares as we are driving along!! We spent the rest of the car ride home, talking about what we would do at Auntie Pat's (play and play and play and read stories), and if everybody was a kid, who would cook and do the laundry and go to work. What fun!!!
Auntie Pat cares for Dillon while I teach at Biola. She is definitely an answer to prayer, Dillon loves her and she loves caring for him. Thanks God!!! He often is sad when I come to pick him up, he wants to stay and play!!!
One more thing...
Dillon's language.
"The train is horn-i:g"
"I am the food-er" (this was said when he was feeding our cat.)
So cute, I love it!!! =) =)
"You wish I was three?"
"Yes". He nods excitedly.
"What would we do if I was three?"
"We could go to Auntie Pat's together... you and me!"
=) =)
I love the things he shares as we are driving along!! We spent the rest of the car ride home, talking about what we would do at Auntie Pat's (play and play and play and read stories), and if everybody was a kid, who would cook and do the laundry and go to work. What fun!!!
Auntie Pat cares for Dillon while I teach at Biola. She is definitely an answer to prayer, Dillon loves her and she loves caring for him. Thanks God!!! He often is sad when I come to pick him up, he wants to stay and play!!!
One more thing...
Dillon's language.
"The train is horn-i:g"
"I am the food-er" (this was said when he was feeding our cat.)
So cute, I love it!!! =) =)
Monday, February 26, 2007
A new member of our family!!
We once again have entered the pet world!! This time we adopted a 1.5 year old cat. She is a wonderful cat with a sweet personality. She loves Todd and gets excited when he comes home. She likes us too, but I am always busy and A & D get a little too much for her at times. I was slow to warm up to the idea, but am now thankful. It really is amazing how something as common as a cat can give us a glimpse of God's creativity and majesty in His creation!!! It seems like it would be so much fun to be a cat!! She sleeps most of the day, goofs around at night for a few hours, and then sleeps. What a life!! And now, after two weekends of hard work (aren't you impressed??), she has a fun new scratching post to escape to and play on!! Can I be a cat for a few weeks??? =) =)
Friday, February 23, 2007
Up and Down
The weather lately has been an outward display of what I have been experiencing in my soul. One day it is sunny and warm, the next day is cloudy and raining. January is always a tough month for our family. The bright hope of a New Year is always overshadowed by the anniversary of my brother's death. That in itself is such a mixed combination of emotions. I smile as I recall his love of family and friends, his earnest desire to know the truth, his generosity with time and money. Then I am awash with the grief of missing a brother, of missing the life that was supposed to be here, now. Grieving brings loneliness, a feeling of isolation. What am I going to say to the dreaded question "How are you doing?". How do I explain feelings I barely can predict or begin to understand.? If I answer "not that great", it always seem that an explanation is expected.
Beyond this constant ache, someone is always sick. This requires up to 6 different medications and inhalers a day, definitely a hard sell on a good day and especially hard when the patient is not feeling well.
So, life is a bit of a challenge, for this girl who loves routine and predictability. Flexibility is a quality I long to have. So my heart's cry is perseverance. I am in the middle of our study of Joshua, and learning that while the battle may be won, there is still a war to be fought. I must continue to battle, and know that God is fighting this battle, He promises His presence, and He keeps His promises. As this story is told and re-told in the book of Joshua, I am slowly beginning to understand what that really means.
Yet January does bring the hope of a New Year. I love that. I have made a list of traditional Resolutions, which I have not kept, but I am ok with that. I like having a target to aim for.
February has included the fun of Valentine's day, I love celebrating loving my family!! We mailed off our Valentines a little late this year, but we did it!!! I celebrate all victories!!!
The other bright spots that shine against this backdrop of sorrow are my precious children and their funny antics.
-Just today Anna was relishing that she got the last tortilla left. "I got the last one!" was her joyful cry!! Todd asked for a small piece and she generously says "sure", tearing off a pea-sized piece, just as directed!!!
-Dillon insists on calling a famous clothing store "Old Lady".
-He also calls his bedroom "dea-droom"... which sounds like "dead-room"!! =)
And, the best for last... Anna is reading!!! This process is requiring quite a bit of patience, which God continually provides, yet what a joy!! Tonight she read some words from the Bible!!! I love it!!!
Time permits me of sharing all the other funny stories and times of struggle. With Dillon and Anna being sick, Biola starting up again, and the increased time required for working with Anna on her reading, sight words, and homework, I made the difficult choice to give up blogging for a while. I am hoping now, with their recovery in sight, I will be able to begin again!!! Who knows!!! It is a good thing that I am learning to be flexible!!!
I will end tonight with a few fun pictures, enjoy!!!
Happy Birthday to our first president!!
Beyond this constant ache, someone is always sick. This requires up to 6 different medications and inhalers a day, definitely a hard sell on a good day and especially hard when the patient is not feeling well.
So, life is a bit of a challenge, for this girl who loves routine and predictability. Flexibility is a quality I long to have. So my heart's cry is perseverance. I am in the middle of our study of Joshua, and learning that while the battle may be won, there is still a war to be fought. I must continue to battle, and know that God is fighting this battle, He promises His presence, and He keeps His promises. As this story is told and re-told in the book of Joshua, I am slowly beginning to understand what that really means.
Yet January does bring the hope of a New Year. I love that. I have made a list of traditional Resolutions, which I have not kept, but I am ok with that. I like having a target to aim for.
February has included the fun of Valentine's day, I love celebrating loving my family!! We mailed off our Valentines a little late this year, but we did it!!! I celebrate all victories!!!
The other bright spots that shine against this backdrop of sorrow are my precious children and their funny antics.
-Just today Anna was relishing that she got the last tortilla left. "I got the last one!" was her joyful cry!! Todd asked for a small piece and she generously says "sure", tearing off a pea-sized piece, just as directed!!!
-Dillon insists on calling a famous clothing store "Old Lady".
-He also calls his bedroom "dea-droom"... which sounds like "dead-room"!! =)
And, the best for last... Anna is reading!!! This process is requiring quite a bit of patience, which God continually provides, yet what a joy!! Tonight she read some words from the Bible!!! I love it!!!
Time permits me of sharing all the other funny stories and times of struggle. With Dillon and Anna being sick, Biola starting up again, and the increased time required for working with Anna on her reading, sight words, and homework, I made the difficult choice to give up blogging for a while. I am hoping now, with their recovery in sight, I will be able to begin again!!! Who knows!!! It is a good thing that I am learning to be flexible!!!
I will end tonight with a few fun pictures, enjoy!!!
Happy Valentine's Day!!
Thanks for the Valentine's gift Grammy and Poppy!!
Happy Birthday to our first president!!
Friday, January 19, 2007
Where we have been....
So in case you are wondering, we drove to Northern California to hang out with my aunt, uncle and family, for a short day and a half, picked up Todd from the airport and then drove the rest of the way to Portland for Christmas with our families. How we miss them!! We had great fun, in fact, had so much fun that I forgot to take pictures!! When my family gets a chance to send me their photos, I will post them, but for now, here is one I did manage to grab, Anna and Dillon on Christmas morning with Uncle Mark. I so miss our family!!!
December was filled with parties and shopping and birthday fun, making cookies, time with family, visits with lots of family in Oregon and Washington, so are you surprised I was totally sick over New Years!!! Yes, I went to sleep at 9pm, by myself, on the 31st, shivering with chills from a fever, when all my friends celebrated the New Year at the party I was looking forward to!!! Oh well, I am happy to say that I have matured, it didn't really bother me too much, I was full of fun memories with family and friends in December, and knew I couldn't help being sick, and there are more important things!!! I am growing up, yay!!! =) =) Being sick really tired me out, thus the lack of posts, plus January is always a challenge... more about that tomorrow.... I am learning to have realistic expectations of what I can get done. I suppose this will always be a struggle, after much struggling in prayer I am at a good place, at least right now. Who knows what tomorrow will hold??? =) =)
Good night!!
just a thought.... can we talk to someone about making December an extra few weeks longer, maybe shorten January??? Just a thought!!! =)
December was filled with parties and shopping and birthday fun, making cookies, time with family, visits with lots of family in Oregon and Washington, so are you surprised I was totally sick over New Years!!! Yes, I went to sleep at 9pm, by myself, on the 31st, shivering with chills from a fever, when all my friends celebrated the New Year at the party I was looking forward to!!! Oh well, I am happy to say that I have matured, it didn't really bother me too much, I was full of fun memories with family and friends in December, and knew I couldn't help being sick, and there are more important things!!! I am growing up, yay!!! =) =) Being sick really tired me out, thus the lack of posts, plus January is always a challenge... more about that tomorrow.... I am learning to have realistic expectations of what I can get done. I suppose this will always be a struggle, after much struggling in prayer I am at a good place, at least right now. Who knows what tomorrow will hold??? =) =)
Good night!!
just a thought.... can we talk to someone about making December an extra few weeks longer, maybe shorten January??? Just a thought!!! =)
More memories....
So December was such a world-wind... there is such a balance between enjoying the season and getting everything done that I would like. My new plan is to get all, or most, of the shopping done, maybe in the summer??? so that I can relax a bit more in December, and really enjoy the season.
Fun times in December: Anna's school performance, so sweet!! She shined as she sang her songs and smiled and danced and did her hand motions, what a star!!! She brings such joy and delight to those who watched her preform!!!
Anna also had a Christmas party at school, on the 20th, my birthday!! Such fun!! The children decorated cookies, exchanged books, and watched the teachers open their gifts. The teachers showed such delight in each gift, it was fun to see the children beam as their gift was opened. Such a special time!!!
The last few memories I leave you with (it is getting late and I have more to accomplish tonight):
Our family Christmas celebration, a few days before our trip north. It was so fun and precious to see Anna and Dillon open the gifts they bought for each other.... what can be better than seeing the joy they got out of giving!!!
Our annual Christmas celebration with our special friends. See his impromptu story time!!!
Fun times in December: Anna's school performance, so sweet!! She shined as she sang her songs and smiled and danced and did her hand motions, what a star!!! She brings such joy and delight to those who watched her preform!!!
Anna also had a Christmas party at school, on the 20th, my birthday!! Such fun!! The children decorated cookies, exchanged books, and watched the teachers open their gifts. The teachers showed such delight in each gift, it was fun to see the children beam as their gift was opened. Such a special time!!!
The last few memories I leave you with (it is getting late and I have more to accomplish tonight):
Our family Christmas celebration, a few days before our trip north. It was so fun and precious to see Anna and Dillon open the gifts they bought for each other.... what can be better than seeing the joy they got out of giving!!!
Our annual Christmas celebration with our special friends. See his impromptu story time!!!
Fun memories from Christmas
Yes, I know this is late... but still fun to remember and enjoy!!
So, what to write about?? Some friends of mine all got together for out 2nd annual cookie bake... about 30 dozen cookies in 7 hours, not bad, hunh?? That was a lot of fun, I so treasure time with girl friends!! Of course, a big thank you to Todd who shared me for the day!!
I was able to do one of my favorite things for my birthday, on the 20th. The two days prior I was busy making dozens of cookies, and then Anna and Dillon and I went around town delivering our treats!!! So much fun, and a great way to spend my special day, with friends and bringing Christmas treats!!! We all had dinner later and opened gifts, of course, but the delivery was my favorite part!!
Yummy!! I was happy with how they came out... considering I did not have much time and was going to leave they next day for Northern California and then Portland!!! Yikes!! It was so worth it, and hopefully next year I will have time to make and deliver more cookies. Fun memories!!
So, what to write about?? Some friends of mine all got together for out 2nd annual cookie bake... about 30 dozen cookies in 7 hours, not bad, hunh?? That was a lot of fun, I so treasure time with girl friends!! Of course, a big thank you to Todd who shared me for the day!!
I was able to do one of my favorite things for my birthday, on the 20th. The two days prior I was busy making dozens of cookies, and then Anna and Dillon and I went around town delivering our treats!!! So much fun, and a great way to spend my special day, with friends and bringing Christmas treats!!! We all had dinner later and opened gifts, of course, but the delivery was my favorite part!!
Yummy!! I was happy with how they came out... considering I did not have much time and was going to leave they next day for Northern California and then Portland!!! Yikes!! It was so worth it, and hopefully next year I will have time to make and deliver more cookies. Fun memories!!
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Chistmas Eve
The Christmas eve service we attended (In Oregon, at my parents' church) was so beautiful. The Pastor challenged us to be God's messengers, sharing the good news with others who do not know. The most beautiful part came early in the service. The worship pastor called all the children up to sing a song and then hear the Christmas Story. Anna went up... she loves going on stage. Dillon chose to safely stay with mommy and daddy. Actually, Anna had already asked to go up on stage with the choir and sing!!! =)
So, after they sang a few verses of a fun Christmas tune, the worship pastor asked the children to share something about Christmas, and he would insert the lyrics into the song, so they could all sing a few new verses. So, out of the 50+ children that went up on stage, Anna raises her hand, and they give her the microphone.... what is she going to say??? At first, she is quiet. Maybe looking at the 500+ people in the audience in causing her to fall silent???
"What is your favorite part of Christmas?", the worship pastor prompts.
Then Anna, in a confident voice, says...
"Baby Jesus came to earth to die on the cross for our sins!"
I am stunned that this is what she choses to say, in front of all these people! I love it!!! Anna has definitely enjoyed the gift giving time of Christmas, and does delight in church and Jesus and all the stories of Christmas... yet the fact that this is what she choses to share fills me with joy. She is understanding all of what my heart longs for her to understand. Praise God!!!
So, after they sang a few verses of a fun Christmas tune, the worship pastor asked the children to share something about Christmas, and he would insert the lyrics into the song, so they could all sing a few new verses. So, out of the 50+ children that went up on stage, Anna raises her hand, and they give her the microphone.... what is she going to say??? At first, she is quiet. Maybe looking at the 500+ people in the audience in causing her to fall silent???
"What is your favorite part of Christmas?", the worship pastor prompts.
Then Anna, in a confident voice, says...
"Baby Jesus came to earth to die on the cross for our sins!"
I am stunned that this is what she choses to say, in front of all these people! I love it!!! Anna has definitely enjoyed the gift giving time of Christmas, and does delight in church and Jesus and all the stories of Christmas... yet the fact that this is what she choses to share fills me with joy. She is understanding all of what my heart longs for her to understand. Praise God!!!
December Highlights
I love December!! I wish it was two months long, instead of only 31 short days!!!
I have so much joy to share... but I am recovering from all the fun and busyness, so... here is the best one, and I will leave the rest for another day..
I have so much joy to share... but I am recovering from all the fun and busyness, so... here is the best one, and I will leave the rest for another day..
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
some thoughts from a tired mom...
Once again, fatigue prevents me from writing a lot. I just wanted to give you this one thought this evening. I started running again, yay!! It is hard to start back up again, not being at all where I wanted to be. I decided I would start, at least. What is exciting is that, if I keep up this discipline, then I will be able to do something (run farther, longer,with less fatigue) that I cannot do now!! As I run my route, I know that in a few weeks, I will run it faster and feel better!! And that gives me hope... not just in running, but in life too. I catch myself wondering how I can possibly parent a teenager... if I can barely handle the "keep-your-room-clean" and "do a good job of eating at the table now, so that you won't be hungry later" stage!!! Yet, I really feel that, in part, the same principle applies. If I keep up the discipline of consistently and calmly parenting Anna and Dillon, I will eventually be able to do what seems impossible now... parent them when I am working on the "get home by midnight, tell me where you are going and who you will be with and no dating until you are ready to think about marriage" stage. Yikes!!!
Of course, as is the case now, all my parenting is accomplished through relying on God's strength and wisdom, and by saying I can "do" parenting, I merely mean I have learned how to be the vehicle through which God can parent my children, I will better at letting go of the results, and giving those to God, and focus on glorifying Him in how I parent Anna and Dillon.
Hopefully you will catch a bit of this convoluted rambling... I did warn you I was tired and busy, as usual!!! =)
Thanks for listening!!!
Of course, as is the case now, all my parenting is accomplished through relying on God's strength and wisdom, and by saying I can "do" parenting, I merely mean I have learned how to be the vehicle through which God can parent my children, I will better at letting go of the results, and giving those to God, and focus on glorifying Him in how I parent Anna and Dillon.
Hopefully you will catch a bit of this convoluted rambling... I did warn you I was tired and busy, as usual!!! =)
Thanks for listening!!!
Monday, December 04, 2006
tonight...
I am tired, I have lots of work still to do... and Todd wakes up tomorrow for a 5:30am Bible study... did I mention how thankful I am that he is in this study?? =)
So, no blogging tonight... hopefully tomorrow!
So, no blogging tonight... hopefully tomorrow!
Friday, December 01, 2006
Oops!!
I guess I took too long putting Dillon to bed... because the by the time I got to Anna, who was waiting for me to do our bedtime routine (Daddy was gone tonight)... well, you see!!!
So sweet, and so sad!! I guess we can read stories, pray, and practice her sight words tomorrow!!! =)
So sweet, and so sad!! I guess we can read stories, pray, and practice her sight words tomorrow!!! =)
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Rock, Paper, Pencil?
When my mom was here visiting, we had so many fun times!!! While we were enjoying our last day at Disneyland, (having purchased 4 day passes back in May), we were waiting for the Christmas Parade. To pass the time Anna and my mom started to play "rock, paper, scissors". My mom paused and told Anna she couldn't make scissors with her hands (her struggle with an auto-immune disease has left her hands with limited mobility ). So Anna suggests, "you can use a pencil"!!! What a creative thinker!! I love it!! How precious!!
What I love even more, as I consider this story, is that Anna was so matter-of-fact about it. There was no emotion or sadness, that is just the way things are. To her, it is normal. Lots of things are normal to her. Pictures of some of her grandparents, and her Uncle J-J, remind her that some of her family that loved her dearly are not with us anymore. To her, this is normal. She occasionally will say that she "misses" Great-Grandma, or Uncle J-J, and seems sad for a few moments. The sadness is temporary, and not overwhelming.
This makes me wonder if we can learn from her attitude. Her expectations of life are different then ours, I think, she is more accepting of the things that we fight against... aging, death, illnesses. She gets that it is a sad thing, she is sad, and then moves on. So often my unmet expectations are so frustrating, it feels impossible... or at least, very difficult. Maybe that is part of "Paul's Secret", the secret of being content. Contentment, at some level, must mean to accept aging, illness, and dying as a part of life.... not to get upset that it is here, but accept its presence, fight against it when necessary, and realize that some battles will be lost, but the ultimate victory is a spiritual one, isn't it?? One day, we will shed these bodies that we struggle against, these, at times, inconvenient vessels, and appear in Glory with our Beloved, to spend eternity with Him!!!
I can't even imagine what that must be like.
What I love even more, as I consider this story, is that Anna was so matter-of-fact about it. There was no emotion or sadness, that is just the way things are. To her, it is normal. Lots of things are normal to her. Pictures of some of her grandparents, and her Uncle J-J, remind her that some of her family that loved her dearly are not with us anymore. To her, this is normal. She occasionally will say that she "misses" Great-Grandma, or Uncle J-J, and seems sad for a few moments. The sadness is temporary, and not overwhelming.
This makes me wonder if we can learn from her attitude. Her expectations of life are different then ours, I think, she is more accepting of the things that we fight against... aging, death, illnesses. She gets that it is a sad thing, she is sad, and then moves on. So often my unmet expectations are so frustrating, it feels impossible... or at least, very difficult. Maybe that is part of "Paul's Secret", the secret of being content. Contentment, at some level, must mean to accept aging, illness, and dying as a part of life.... not to get upset that it is here, but accept its presence, fight against it when necessary, and realize that some battles will be lost, but the ultimate victory is a spiritual one, isn't it?? One day, we will shed these bodies that we struggle against, these, at times, inconvenient vessels, and appear in Glory with our Beloved, to spend eternity with Him!!!
I can't even imagine what that must be like.
A lot can happen in ten years!!!
I love my sister and miss her so much!! I am so happy for her, for them!!!
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